The second step of finding happiness: deep self-knowledge – part 4: Inspecting your ego

(If you wish to read this article in its original, Hungarian version, click here)

Recognizing other people’s spiritual workings is always a lot easier than recognizing our own. But why is it so? The answer is rather simple, still, if you haven’t given much thought to these things it may come as a surprise. Your ego is the parasite of your soul. Most people, upon reading something like this, freak out or get a strong feeling of opposition, but that is exactly what proves the statement to be true. Please read on to see this clearly, as it will make your life easier. Let’s start by examining what the statement means to you and then I’ll get to proving it.

A parasite is a being that uses its host body in a manner that the host body doesn’t even notice. Think about mistletoe for example, how it builds itself into the oak. To the tree the mistletoe seems a part of its body, and the tree nourishes it as such. The mistletoe however, doesn’t benefit the oak in any way, in fact it only brings about the tree’s early death. The oak has no idea that the mistletoe is not actually a part of itself, so it continues feeding it until eventually it dies. If the oak knew, it would close itself off from the mistletoe. The ego is the same. It incorporates itself into your soul and makes you believe that you are it. After that the only thing it cares about is proving to you how important it’s presence is and not about what’s actually good for you. It lives on your soul as a parasite and is only concerned with self-sustainment. And that’s where the problem is. The existence of your ego is not your existence, because you are not your ego. When I first read about this, I asked myself a question: If I’m not my ego, then who am I? Back then I was very skeptical. My ego had incorporated itself so far into my soul that suddenly I had no idea who I really was. I ask you now to ask yourself the same question and really think about it! For me, it took months to come up with an answer and later I will write about that journey to help you get to your answer faster than I did to mine.

The ego is a package of negative energy on the spiritual plane, that answers for your spiritual unhappiness. It does this while making you believe that your ego is You and that there is nothing else behind it. It also makes you believe that it is there to protect you, that it is the thing that sustains you and that it is the thing you can thank for your life. However, these suggestions are false. Your ego is sending them because it’s scared for its own existence and it trying to sustain itself within you.

So, a deeper level of self-knowledge is when you realize that your ego is not You! Why is this important? Because your ego controls all those spiritual cycles and processes that make you unhappy. This means that the reality of the situation is exactly the opposite than what your ego is trying to make you believe. Because your ego only cares about itself, it naturally suggests to you (because you are its host body) that you wouldn’t exist without it, that life would become impossible.

Now that we’re through this, allow me to refer back to the very beginning of this article. Why is it so much easier to recognize other people’s spiritual workings and cycles than our own? The answer is because your ego is trying to hide everything from you that would show it in a bad light. At the same time, it is critical toward people around us, because it can use the negative things we sometimes see in others to strengthen its own existence. It suggests thoughts like “See how negative they are? Thankfully I’m not like that at all.” Thoughts like these cross your mind quite often when you’re comparing yourself to others, don’t they? Your ego is behind them, your ego is the one always making comparisons.

To get to a more intimate level of self-knowledge, it is imperative to recognize how strong your ego is and how deep it has engraved itself within you. Since I’ve been looking at people from this perspective, I’ve realized that the ego is present in most people. It can also be said that the more wounded a soul is, the stronger the attached ego. Don’t be fooled by the fact that many (economically) successful people also have strong egos. This is because, although they have great self-assertion skills, deep inside (most of the times buried deep unconsciously) very strong pains are at work in their souls. These people are either aware of their unhappiness or their happiness is only a mirage created by their egos. That is how they compensate for their pains, the show they set up for the world and for themselves.

I used to have a strong ego too. The stronger it was, the more convinced I became that I was on the right path, still the unhappier I got. Today, I finally see crystal clear how different me and my ego actually are and I’m working on dismantling it little by little, as a result of which, I am much happier. Sadly, I still run into situations where my ego takes over and makes me do things that I later regret. However, it is important to understand that perfection is not the end goal, especially not on a spiritual journey. Being aware of the ego and recognizing its workings is already a great achievement. Being on this level enables us to be more conscious of our actions and prevent our ego from interfering in certain situations. The best way to retire the ego is through a slow and gradual approach. I’ve been working on this for about 2 years and the road ahead is still long. However, there are some like Echart Tolle (who is generally considered to be one of the most enlightened people in the world), who, upon realizing that the ego is the center of his unhappiness, “simply” broke up with it. He was so disgusted by his ego that it enabled him to do that. I honestly don’t know how he did it, but for me it’s slow and gradual steps that do it. One thing’s for sure, he and I are both aware that this is the right way. The weaker your ego becomes the happier your soul will be, because its parasite won’t be as big as it had been before. In later writings I will write a lot about the ego and its characteristics and, as I have promised, I will also write about how to find the person you really are without your ego. But for now, it’s enough to arrive at the realization that you and your ego are not the same. Pay attention to yourself and you’ll see it clearly soon enough…

DRDE

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