(If you wish to read this article in its original, Hungarian version,
click here)
In the previous part I introduced a very serious method, one that can only be practised with professional help. Today I’d like to show you one that can be done at home completely by yourself. We often find ourselves in situations where we knowingly or unknowingly hurt others or we say things we later regret in the heat of the moment. Such situations, along thousands of others, have the power to make us feel very negative emotions that cause feelings of immense regret and shame. We keep reliving the memory in our minds and regret it many times, despite (or maybe exactly because of) knowing clearly that what has already happened cannot be changed. Very often the negative emotions inside us get so strong that we become overly critical and harsh with ourselves. On top of that we have a tendency to overthink about how others viewed what we did and what it made them think of us. These feelings almost never leave us and put their stamp on entire days, sometimes even on experiences which would otherwise be joyful.
That thing that popped into mind has already happened and you cannot change it now! It has become a part of your past. What you can change however, is how you view the incident. By tormenting yourself you won’t change any of what happened, on the other hand, doing so takes away a lot of energy and limits your creativity, which decreases the chances of solving the situation. So the first step is trying to process and work through it emotionally or at least try to decrease the emtional impact the situation has caused.
That is what this super easy method is for: Sit down
comfortably and try to relax your entire being as much as you can by taking a
few deep breaths. Put one of your hands on your forehead, the other on the nape
of your neck. Now, think about and feel a/the negative emotion that arose in
you because of an incident. Then imagine that, with this emotion, you fill a
large balloon (however large you need). When you feel that everything that had
been in you is now in the balloon, let go of it and allow it to fly away. If it’s
hard for you to imagine the balloon, then try imagining instead that the negative
feeling is like dirt on your body that you wash off in the shower. Following
this (either version), it is important to experience a positive emotion as
well, one that you would feel if the situation didn’t happen or got repaired (e.g.
relief or gratefulness).
This exercise only takes about 1 minute and quickens the
processing of negatie emotions within us. Try to do it as soon as you can upon first
feeling the negative emotion. Believe me, it will help!
Naturally, it is not enough to let go of a negative
emotion. It is also important to look inside yourself and find the reason why
you reacted the way you did in the situation or why you feel a certain way.
Life gives these emotions as warning signs that something needs checking out.
The other thing we have to do is make right our wrongs as effectively as we
can!
DRDE
If you are interested in the previous part of this heading click here.
If you seek a better understanding of the blog’s structure, you
can find a short guide here.
If you’d be interested in reading a book which talks even
further about the topic above as well as many other life changing concepts
click here. But don’t forget that the answers to Life’s great questions
can only truly be found in yourself! This book as well as this blog can only
help you find your own way there...
I would be glad to hear your
further ideas or constructive cristism, which you can share with me in a
comment below the article.
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